I can see clearly now

Of course I’m a little bit mad, maybe madder than anyone you’ve ever known, but the point is I’m not crazy.

Look, I don’t know about you, but I’m getting kinda tired of giving any more damns about this Corona thing. The word alone is starting to make my skin crawl. I’ve just about had enough of it. Haven’t you? I’ve never been one to follow rules, but this happening right now is simply ridiculous. The obedience around me is simply ridiculous. The acceptance of whatever we’re being told to do is simply ridiculous. Could we please, please stop shaking with fear for a moment and understand that this whole charade carries as much importance as we give it? Are we still sheep in the 21st Century, waiting for someone else to guide us, willing to follow, unable to think for ourselves? Have we not evolved at all? Have we learned nothing?

I see people keeping enormous distances between each other as they queue in front of their local shops, wearing gloves and masks that make them look like Robocop’s less gifted siblings frightened that, somehow, Corona is their biggest enemy and out to get them right then and there. I see people giving each other nothing but suspicious gazes. I don’t see compassion. I don’t see empathy. People, this fear of yours is totally unhealthy and unjustified. And…your biggest enemy. Along with the news (call me mad again, but I haven’t felt the need to read one single newspaper or turn the TV on since this whole thing started. I have no idea how many deaths there have been, how many people have been infected with the virus or what the agenda is – all I know is I would rather spend the rest of my days in seclusion, far away from the outside world than allow them to vaccinate me).

And don’t get me wrong, these past two months I’ve spent in quarantine have been some of the best days of my life – and the only reason why I haven’t taken over the streets the way I would have in normal circumstances was that there was so much to do behind these four walls of my room. I haven’t had a single dull moment, never once felt like killing myself or any of my neighbours, I simply enjoyed my own company the way I normally do (yeah, this mad chick has developed a really good relationship with herself) danced in front of the many, many mirrors on the walls like it was nobody’s business – and it wasn’t – made two friends with wings, watched them grow and turn my room into their personal space, watched classic movies and weeped, watched House M.D. for the third time and paid more attention than ever to details and nuances of the characters, had friends over, got to know my neighbours and discovered great things about each of them, helped whoever and whenever I could, meditated, healed past wounds, journaled the changes in me, got dizzy on rosé just because, reassured my family via interminable, long distance phone calls that I was better than I’d ever been which, of course, they didn’t believe, reevaluated my life and realized there is nothing but gratitude left, felt all the freedom and love of the Universe coursing through my veins, found peace of mind, lit scented candles and Nag Champa sticks, wooed myself on late starlit nights with some really good music, quit smoking weed, woke up at the crack of dawn,  made some funky necklaces, wrote poems, listened to George Carlin’s “Brain droppings” and “Napalm and silly putty” and found them intriguing to say the least, missed a man more than words can express, had some mind-blowing revelations, cried and it felt absolutely amazing, completely let go of control and just allowed myself to be, grow and observe, planned a little trip for my new self for when these bullshit restrictions are over, had an absolute blast.

But most importantly, never once felt like I should put on a mask, protect myself “or others” in any way or give praise to the NHS and their acts of “heroism”. Perhaps I’ll become less verbally aggressive when they’ll stop feeding us bullshit and expect us to just sit still and swallow it. I’m sorry, I’m not buying any of this.

And I know, I know, freedom is just a concept and nobody is completely free as long as they choose to be part of society, but at least I have some dreams left and refuse to let them be squished and stepped over or taken away from me. Not without a fight, at least. So I’m building myself up, keeping these eyes open and prepare myself for when that time comes.

Ironic enough, Corona might be the best thing that’s happened to us, but we’re so wrapped up in fear and lack, we can’t even fathom that there’s a bigger picture, a deeper meaning to it all.

Too bad though, this could have been a collective chance to change something, one of the great moments in history. I’m afraid we blew it. Again. Collectively.

Green Eyed Kisses,