As a matter of fact, I never knew how, nor if.
Not even when to,
while all the others were nonchalantly doing everything I wanted to, but couldn’t.
I wasn’t the best, I was just who I was,
either too much, or not enough.
Always carrying losses, burdens, extremely old songs and a notebook.
Always taking notes but never actually paying attention.
Pretentious.
Never saying the right thing at the right time – on the contrary.
Anxious.
Moldable,
apparently shallow.
But there was something beneath all that
and your blue eyes knew exactly what to look at and where.
Strange. Unadapted. Overwhelmed. Stray.
Do you remember me that way?
What kind of magic did you do?
How did you make me see everything I was and, most of all, what I could be?
Because of you,
of all the above I am the opposite today.
When did you change me from just a girl into the complicated creature that I am?
And after all this time, what could I say to encompass the many ways you move me?
Damn!
How could I ever thank you for what you are, for who I am?
I’m grateful as the little girl who first came to you and also as the woman
I was almost inexplicably shaped into.
I wouldn’t be the same had I not met you.
I will never forget that.
You’re in my heart.
Forever.
Unfortunately, my feelings have always been louder than my words.
I know, not very clever…
So even if there’s not a word I say,
it’s not because I wouldn’t want to,
but because I never knew how, nor if.
Not even when to.
I feel so much – in silence.
And so, quietly, I pray.
This is my unadapted “”thank you””.
I know I’m not the best.
I am just what I am – either too much or not enough,
but blessed for having known you.
Every day.
…cu drag, Danei Dorian, pentru tot ce reprezintă. Pentru mine.