So now, that this roller-coaster of a journey has been processed, understood and explained, it’s time we came back to the present. Where do we go from here? What are we going to do with all the wisdom, love, freedom and all the other spiritual gifts we’ve acquired along the way? Especially with the freedom. Knowing that our limits simply don’t exist and if there are any, they’re only self-imposed. Realizing that freedom is equally the most empowering and the most frightening feeling in the world.
Only those who have once claimed and fought for it with their lives can understand both of these statements.
Most of us have forgotten what freedom feels like, but we have experienced it before, when we were children and nothing seemed impossible, everything was just another amazing discovery, every day was nothing less than an adventure and we couldn’t care less what others thought. We were just being unapologetically ourselves, our eyes open to the world, wide and innocent and every mistake was just a new way to learn. At some point along the way, we all got tired of learning new things, at some point along the way, we all stopped believing in our own magic and started thinking that we must comply to social norms in order to fit in. At one point in our lives, we all started the long, burdening journey of self-sabotage. But what if we were never supposed to fit in? What if we were never created to be small and complacent? What if we have been brought here to shine, to be the light guiding others home, what if we were supposed to break the rules, not abide by them? What if we were truly something else? And who’s to say we weren’t?
Good thing is, anything can be unlearned. Yes, it might take some effort, some hours or months or years of meditation and self-hypnosis and shadow work, some crying and praying, but most of all, it might take some serious believing in life. And patience. Think about it, it’s taken you years and years of learning their way, just give yourself time to throw everything away and learn yours. Your beliefs, your traditions, your truth, your desires, your way.
Take me for example – I am living and breathing proof that any mistake can be fixed and any chain pulling you back can be broken. Abundance comes from within. Childhood is a state of mind. And, more importantly, love exists. Once you switch off the outside voices and start listening to your own, you’re on the right track. Once you understand that we’re not competitors, but here to help each other learn and expand outside the confines of whatever they tell us to be, you’re on the right track. Once you start looking back in the mirror for mistakes and not around you, you’re on the right track. Once you start to respect life – yours and all others’, you’re on the right track. Once you allow yourself to experience your weirdness, regardless of what they think about it, you’re on the right track. Once you start making real efforts in trying to become the change you want to see in the world, you’re on the right track. And once you start on this journey, there is no turning back. Your soul will not allow you to make big mistakes. You will not be able to lie, mislead, be vengeful or malicious. You will feel yourself rising above the mundane, unimportant stuff. You will be craving substance. There will be a higher level of understanding and compassion – for yourself and others. There will be more and more light. You will be rising – and that is what freedom is all about.
Right now I’m at a point in my journey where I’ve conquered all evil. Perhaps not all of it, but surely the most powerful demons. They might appear from time to time but they look more like kitty cats now and it doesn’t take me long to put them in their place. After having fought the Beast itself – and trust me, I have – these little cat-demons are quite cute actually – and easy to tame. I’m at that stage where I have taken back my freedom from all those whom I had allowed to steal it from me in the past. I’ve put it back together. It’s mine, all mine! But now what? What do I do with it? How do I keep it? What does it all mean? See? The Great Fight with ourselves is never over. There’s always something that requires more work. But at least now we know what to do.
I may only be getting used to my own freedom and it may feel uncomfortable, overwhelming and unbearable at times, but it makes me feel grateful nonetheless. It also pains me to see how few are those who actually understand what I am saying, those who dare to risk everything just to get it back so they can finally start living. The saddest part is that one of the most annoying clichés of all is actually true: no one is keeping anyone in such limitation. That door is never locked. We could get out at any time, we just refuse to take that leap of faith. And that’s ok, too. I heard a Chinese proverb the other day I deeply resonated with. It said “When Death finds you, may it find you alive”.
For me, the door to freedom was also the door showing me my higher purpose. It’s been half a year since I’ve been struggling to find out what part I play in the world. What I was brought here, presumably from a far away planet, to accomplish. It must be something big! So where does my soul come from and what was it meant to bring into this world? Where does it absolutely need to be right now? What big dream does it need to fight for? It took me half a year, but finally got there with my tribe’s assistance. One of the signs they gave me during meditation was “hands”. Another sign was a vision I had of an old man, a preacher, a teacher, a guide. After they showed me, I felt like the answer has been there all along.
Freedom has allowed me to see the bigger picture, that there is much more to life than this reality we allow ourselves to live in. That we could be in perfect control of our existence. That we are here to be great, not mediocre. That we are more than just flesh and bones. That there is a divine aspect about us we can only get access to once the earthly fight has been fought and the burdens have been lifted. Alone, through hell. We are mind, body and spirit and they need to be equally explored.
And we’ll get there, I promise. In the meantime I’ll be here, sharing my truth and light with those who need them the most.
Green Eyed Kisses,
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