On Awakening Pt.4

This is the part where we’ll be getting into some spiritual technicalities.

We’ll be addressing the stages one must go through since the first “A-ha” moment until…well…let’s not kid ourselves thinking there is an end to it. Awakening is an ongoing process. At least one of those stages will be following you until the day you die. Eventually, we all hope for Enlightenment (which is the ultimate state of bliss, unconditional love, faith and wisdom to be experienced in this lifetime) and I believe that, once you’ve understood what is asked of you and gained enough strength to start making it happen, nothing can stop you from reaching it.

But the common consensus is that most stages should last from weeks to months to years, but, in my case, it’s only been a year and I’ve already been most of them, or so it seems. I like to say I’ve been put through an ”intensive  program”. I am 99% a different person than I was this time last year. I’ve killed most of my old self in order for the ever evolving creature that I am today to come into light.

 

But you don’t want to know half of the ordeal some of those phases have brought about and how strange and debilitating some of the symptoms have been during my second “dark night of the soul”.There can be many triggers to it, such as a shocking event, a (terminal) illness, a sudden and ground-shaking change in one’s environment, coming across your twin-flame or a powerful soulmate – someone with extreme significance to your mission etc. – mine was falling in love (yes, we believe in all of these things here).

This “dark night of the soul” thing is the stage where you go through the most pain you’ve ever experienced. It’s your life’s lowest low, hell on earth, rage, desolation, fear, depression, unspeakable pain. Fortunately, there is hope, because there is only way out of there and that is up. It won’t kill you, but you’ll often feel like it will and you’ll even more often pray for death rather than keep being tortured like you are and in such agony. In my case, there were two “dark nights”: the first one started when I moved to London, back in 2016 and lasted for about three years. Those were the most difficult and painful three years of my life, but I’ve also never felt more alive before and I wouldn’t trade the lessons they’ve brought me for all the peace and happiness in the world. Before I even realized the magnitude of the fight I was about to have, my soul was already trying to prepare me for my rebirth. I used to instinctively believe that “It has to be really, really hard before it gets really beautiful”. And that was the mantra that kept me going through hell for so long.

  

We have to understand that an Awakening may or may not happen in this lifetime, but if it does and it feels excruciatingly difficult to bear, don’t turn against God, don’t beg Him to stop it, don’t curse the day you were born and, more importantly, don’t resist it. There is Paradise awaiting after all the drama and it is what your soul has signed you up for in order to ascend. Looking back, you will not want to change one single comma in this experience.

My second “dark night” was triggered around my 33rd birthday, last year. I was working in a restaurant when it all started and I remember waking up one day with an enhanced and somehow distorted sense of taste and smell that would last for about a week or so. I could strongly feel a particular additive in Sourdough bread and some of the sauces we were using at the time, it must have been the acetic acid. The nonbeliever in me immediately went to Google for answers and all of them seemed to lead me to kidney or liver malfunctions (at least it was not cancer). I won’t lie, I kinda panicked, especially because that was just one of the many strange things that were happening to me that requested understanding, patience, maturity, strength, consistency, faith, love – neither of which I really knew I had in me – such as mental overdrive, extreme fatigue, lack of appetite and a bizarre sense that I could suddenly feel and read the kind of energies people had. I guess it was going both ways. It seemed that people could feel my vibration rising too, because they were either drawn to me like crazy (and I’m not talking about the sexual aspect of things necessarily, but about people really seeing something genuine and authentic and pure in me that was very much needed in the world) or could not stand the mere presence of me. The enhanced sense of smell and taste eventually disappeared unexplainably and many months later, after stumbling upon an article on “symptoms of a spiritual awakening” I discovered that enhanced sense of taste and smell as well as all of the above were actually indicators of an Awakening and boooooom! another huge revelation was had.

One of the most beautiful stages one can go through is Paradise. It usually comes after the dark night of the soul, which is Hell, but there are no rules to that. In fact, there are no rules when it comes to an Awakening. Just like God and pain and love, this experience is absolutely personal and subjective. This is where most of the cleansing has been done, where the worst devils have been confronted, where God has been found through pain. This is the stage where there is deep gratitude for all the lessons you’ve been taught, where one begins to experience their new self – their divinity, the heart chakra is open wide and there is nothing but unconditional love for everyone and everything. Masks, bullshit, childhood wounds, lies, judgements, ego-driven decisions, emotional baggage, karma – sometimes from previous lifetimes – everything that is untrue and has blocked you from becoming who you are meant to be have been released. You feel spiritually guided towards light so you start to let go of control, you realize how powerful your intuition is and start to listen to it, you discover spiritual gifts and talents you never thought you had, become confident in your beliefs regardless of how mad you may appear to others, you begin to observe synchronicities and angel numbers and KNOW you’re on the right track.

Then comes the Limbo stage, which is a period of well-deserved rest. The worst is gone, you have matured immensely in more ways than you can imagine and whether you have been put through an explosive and intense Awakening like me or not, you must be absolutely exhausted by now. The best part is that you have become much stronger and more resilient than you know. You hold some Aces in your sleeve, you are now familiar with both your shadow side and your light, you have learned to trust your intuition no matter what, so the Universe is trying to give you some space to just breathe and get used to this new you that has emerged from the ashes. It will seem like the communication between you and your guides has stopped and so have the synchronicities. You feel somehow abandoned, but it becomes easier to bear because you’ve now got yourself and you know that there is so much potential there, so it’s a great time to start exploring your limitlessness.

  

Groundedness is the grown-up stage, where the lessons you’ve learned so far are ready to be implemented and adapted to real life, because you are now ready. You now completely trust the process, there is no more fear, you exude a level of confidence that most people don’t have and that comes from experience. You know. You just know that everything is exactly as it’s supposed to be. You know you are connected, you know you are loved and you know that there is a higher purpose to your life and start asking yourself “how can I help?”. You become more powerful and magnetic than you’ve ever been and you start attracting similar energies. This is the stage where things start happening for you.

And then comes the stage where you actually find your life’s mission and dive into it. You have already received numerous signs and synchronicities about it and it just feels right. There is a fire in you that’s never been there through anything you’ve done before. you believe in it with all your – now open and infinite – heart. This is what you were born to do. This is why you are here. You start living with purpose and no one – and I mean no one – can change your perspective.

Speaking of which…I have finally found my soul’s purpose. It will probably be addressed  in a future article, called “From Prosecco pourer to Spiritual Advisor”, where I’ll mostly be discussing this deep desire to really make my life count, give back to the world and hopefully help others see their daily struggles from a higher perspective, a learning one, a healing one.

If not, at least you know what I’ll be all about and you’ll perhaps find the strength to reach out to me and let me know if you’re going through some sort of personal hell. Chances are…I’ve been there.

To be continued anyway,

Green Eyed Kisses,

P.S. If you’ve somehow stumbled upon this article, it’s probably not by accident.